Grief is something that not every one knows until one day, some of us will lose a loved family pet; and we begin… traveling through pet loss grief. One of the most difficult things about losing a pet, and the reason it can be harder to deal with than the death of a person, is that a pet’s passing is not considered to be important by others. One may be given the day off to take a pet to be euthanized, but he or she is expected to be back at work the next day as if nothing happened. There’s no memorial, no grieving time given, and no consideration. Friends and family assume you should get on with life as if nothing happened. Yet we know, we lost our closest companion.
Even though nothing changed in their lives, you’ve had a huge change in yours. Your entire daily routine has changed. Just like that… the feeding, playing with, and walking of your dog… all routines have changed for you. You’re no longer welcomed by a cheerful, tail-wagging friend each and every day. The sweet and gentle existence you shared our life with is now gone. We are traveling through pet loss grief.
Think about it. A relationship with a dog provides affection and gratification that we don’t get with people. Their whole life circles around us, and they’re always happy to see us. People, even family and friends, will disappoint us at times; saying or doing things that hurt us emotionally. Our pets don’t – they love us no matter what.
When we lose a pet, we lose unconditional love. Pets provide us with emotional comforts that are uninhibited. Our pets do not judge us. They are all-accepting in ways few humans can achieve. Pets don’t care what our job is, how many friends we have or if we’re good looking, or anything like that. All they know is you are mom or dad and they only see you.
Perhaps if people realized just how strong and intense the bond is between people and their dogs, such grief would become more widely accepted. This would greatly help dog owners to assimilate the death and help them move forward as they’re traveling through pet loss grief.
Not surprisingly, humans respond positively to such unqualified affection, assistance and loyalty. Just looking at dogs can make people smile. Dog owners score higher on measures of well-being and they are happier, on average, than people who own cats or no pets at all.
The loss of a pet can feel as if we lost our closest companion. Owning a pet is like being a parent because we become responsible for another life. So we do everything we can to make sure our pet has the best food, great toys, and activities, is walked, has exercise, goes to the vet, and we even take him to the dog park or the store. Thus, when the day comes when we lose that pet it feels like we lost a kid, or our best friend. For some, our pet was our only true companion in the world. Our pets may only be a part of our lives for a short time, but they bring a lot of joy while with us. It’s normal and okay to grieve.
Losing a pet can feel like we’ve lost a life partner. Not only do our animals provide us with their uninhibited emotional expression, but when we’re around them we are also uninhibited, as we show parts of ourselves that we never let other humans see. They see us cry and laugh as we travel through life with our pet. Why do we bond so closely with dogs? Could it be that dogs provide us with such positive feedback? One thing to consider is how dogs, over the years, have been bred to pay attention to people. Dogs recognize people and have learned to understand human emotions from facial expressions. It is also likely that dogs can interpret human intentions.
Be patient – this is vital to dealing with your grief effectively. Since loss is real and painful, don’t try to get “past it” quickly. Remind yourself that you’re in mourning and speeding it just makes it feel worse.
Find support – you need at least one safe person you can talk to about your loss. If you don’t have a kind shoulder, call your vet to see if they know another pet owner who recently had a loss, or look into joining a support group specifically for pet loss.
Create a life book about your pet – you can do this by writing down things such as when you got your pet, special memories, personality features, photos, what you miss the most. This journal will help you honor him or her.
Have a pet ceremony – we have habitual ways that mourn. We have funerals, memorials, and anniversaries for people who pass meant to help us grieve. You can do the same for your pet. Have a ceremony in the dog park, at your home, or in a special place.
Dispose of your pet’s things slowly – you’ll see the food bowl, the bed, and the toys then wonder what to do with them. The first thing is to move them to a different spot in the house. This will help now and also help later when ready to remove them. You can put your pet’s tag on your key-chain and donate belongings to another pet owner or rescue.
In conclusion, this is supposed to be a sorrowful time, so give yourself the okay to grieve. Don’t allow anyone to tell you differently or make you feel weak. While we may want to find ways to move us quickly through this period quickly, the best advice is… do not rush! When we’ve lost our closest companion it won’t be easy. Closure comes from a variety of feelings and memories and each of us must experience them all.
Remember, if you know somebody who is traveling through pet loss grief, you can send a copy of Beyond The Rainbow Bridge to help. It will surely ease the pain of their loss.
